Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I hate / I like / I Wanna Be Like Tosh

An ode to Tosh.0, from I likes to I hates. Examples precede my mediocre ramblings. Yes. The examples are better. Much. And maybe when I can afford a new phone, an iPhone I tried to resist until it came in white to be precise, with a video camera to launch my very own YouTube channel, written words will have to do.



Tosh.0
I Like Video
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption2 Girls, 1 Cup ReactionDemi Moore Picture


I like my DVR.

That's it. I'm done.

Just kidding!

I like my DVR. I like my wallet. I like my dog. I like my condo complex tennis court. I like Hot Tamales. I like how every day is 80 degrees. I like my bangs. I like my Facebook page. I like my coworkers. I like the book I'm reading. I like my conditioner. I like running shoes. I like that little girls use weird things for eye shadow, like the silver Etch-a-Sketch sand. I like pineapple and anchovy pizza. I like four-day weekends. I like my belly button ring. I like Zappos. I like that Rachel on Glee said, "I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn; I need applause to live."I like my birthday. I like T-shirts. I like islands. I like chapstick. I like my last name. I like log cabins. I like the bleaching tray my dad made me. I like sushi. I like sprinklers. I like I like my multivitamin. I like my throw blanket. I like movie trailers. I like fake tanning lotion. I like how texting replaced awkward, time intensive phone calls. I like Swiss cheese. I like my dog's collar. I like my wall decorations. I like my Lady Gaga CDs. I like my cell phone number. I like snacks. I like jeans. I like the Twitter bird. I liked my Grams. I like my glasses.

The word 'like' started to look really weird there for a minute.



I hate how companies think "Got [insert product]?" is marketing; no, it's just lazy and un-clever.

I hate how I still don't know if the length of a license plate number correlates to the state's population.

I hate when the radio loses reception while I'm belting it.

I hate how you're not really successful unless you're skinny too.

I hate mariachi bands.

I hate the holidays.

I hate awkward phone calls when texting is right up there with the other mediums.

I hate product placement when I'm not in the mood.

I hate my cat.

I hate how people think artificial sweeteners are bad for you.

I hate hair commercials. I hate commercials for women in general; we aren't that stupid! Usually.

I hate women drivers.

I hate when people ask you what you're going to get before you order at a restaurant--it ruins the surprise.

I hate people who stare at your ordered food like a crazy person when it comes to the table. Or say it looks good and then turn down a bite.

I hate when I'm not sure if while I just woke myself up in a snore, if anyone else in the hotel room heard or not.

I hate people you know who call your home phone number--you only get that line so you can have cheaper Internet! And I hate people I don't know who call that number.

I hate people who diss a trend just because it's a trend. It's a trend! It's popular for a reason. Be a lemming already. Lemmings are cool when they're not running off cliffs.

I hate people who cite blogs as political source fodder. I do about two seconds of research for every link and fact.

I hate watching TV with my parents.

I hate when people fall asleep watching a movie--just go to bed.

I hate when people say you look tired. Well eff you too!

4 comments:

Cary said...

On your "like" list you forgot your half-birthday, 'Lakers' throw blanket, me, and she's my dog.

I think this is my favorite post so far.

Aly said...

The throw blanket I was thinking of WAS the Lakers blanket (which is mine 'cause I bought it). And I LOVE you.

Erin said...

I like peanut butter. I like organizing my books in rainbow order. I like organizing. I like sweatshirts. I like learning song lyrics. I like Hot Tamales too! I like my shuffle. I like whiskey. I like laying in the sun. I like sharpies. I like walking barefoot.

I hate tights. I hate cleaning my car. I hate watches. I hate my birthday. I hate PT Cruisers. I hate writing checks. I hate bringing in the trash cans. I hate most girl musicians. I hate noise pollution. I hate Lady Gaga. I hate when you are playing in the snow and it gets in your gloves.

Aly said...

Rainbow order! I love it. That's officially on my "like" list even though I'm not cool enough to do it.