Why Fear is My Wish

I have a friend who has a Tumblr. And while this micro-blogging site still first brings to mind patio cups, it's the only place I go regularly to get inspired by its cryptic text, true beauty images and soulful Shuffle ideas. She strikes me as private, so I won't share the link directly. But maybe she'll read this sometime and share it with you melon ball lovers in a comment. If you're lucky, you'll get a link to her Frisco-dedicated tumble as well. If I'm lucky, she won't loathe me for plagiarizing the most beautiful of them all. To me. Of late. Because people who read windy blogs deserve to be cryptically inspired, too.

Sometimes we discuss posts over e-mail, but usually I admire and feel better in silence. She did explain to me one time how Freud had a theory about fear being our wish. Hm. [ponder]

Our thoughts and feelings intertwine here.

Courtesy of Elizabeth Miervaldis

all men should strive

to learn before they die

what they are running from and to and why

--James Thurber



Fuck what they think. ~Cheynesaw

{paraphrased} Especially while naked, appreciate flaws, struggles, substances, athletics and overall strength. Scars, weird teeth, mistakes, pills. Every curve, every scream of protest. Thank these things. Maybe above all else for women.

RIP Jasper

you are the first and only cat i’ve met since moving to this city.  when i couldn’t tell if these new people liked me, i knew that you did and it made things better in a small but significant way.  those boys loved you so much, even if they were annoyed with your cries for attention in the early morning hours.  you just wanted to be with them.  you just wanted to be loved.  it’s all anyone really wants.  jasper, you will be missed.  i hope you get all the cat food and head scratches you want in heaven.

"And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened." --Douglas Coupland, source

How do we engage in our lives from a place of authenticity and worthiness? How do we cultivate the courage, compassion and connection we need to embrace our imperfections and recognize we are enough - we are worthy of love, belonging and joy? ... Love with your whole heart, even though there’s no guarantee. --Questions posed by Dr. Brené Brown, Wholeheartedness researcher and professor at the University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work

Courtesy via snafubar

"We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and - in spite of True Romance magazines - we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely - at least, not all the time - but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don’t see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness." --Hunter S. Thompson, source

'It was a girl’s face, but she’d stopped being a girl when he wasn’t watching.'

- A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

“I think the point is that 'skinny' girls are 'allowed' to feel beautiful 100% of the time, no questions asked, no justification needed ... However, if someone who wears a size 8 or 6 or 4 were to say “I look alright,” it would be met with “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC!” in almost any circle. 'Skinny' women are given permission to feel beautiful every day of their lives, while anyone outside the socially defined realm of 'skinny' has to fucking fight for it (both 'way too skinny' and 'too fat' alike). After a couple decades of hating myself, I’ve realized just how fucked that actually is." --Emily and Paper Tiger

"The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea." --Isak Dinesen, source

Even source text or the like can be inspiring. Like forest milk. Or, Je suis perdu. Unhappy hipsters. Internerd. Boy wonder. Even Instagram.

Courtesy via Ronocklats-

E: not even coffee is making me happy today.

R: did you forget to put the whiskey in it?

(Taste of Frisco tumble:)

me: i still don't know about the summers here. i don't know if i can handle the lack of sun and heat.

him: there have been a couple nice days.

me: yeah, like four.

him: hope you enjoyed them! that's your summer!

It's people like Her who make me realize the best artists aren't super-human but perfectly human. Who drink bourbon because they like it. Who don't lie about how many cupcakes they ate. Who thinks of pairing things like the best (researched) peanut butter and Costco tortilla chips - and then shares that information. Who can smoke one cigarette. Who can take leaps of faith. Who can run fast or slow. Who can dislike marriage and babies but love yours. Who texts back. Who texts first. Who sees the beauty in small, random gifts. Who sees that work isn't everything. Who knows the perfect place for a tattoo. Who sees one man many ways. That a career can be a hobby. That family is worth it in the end. That you can disagree agreeably. That nothing is so serious.

Her latest music worth finding:

Nada Surf, Inside of Love; and Blankest Year
Tears for Fears, Break It Down Again
Handsome Furs, Repatriated
Fleet Foxes, Helplessness Blues; and Montezuma
The National, Terrible Love
Frightened Rabbit, Swim Until You Can't See Land
Bon Iver, Your Love
Death Cab for Cutie, Tiny Vessels
The Ravonettes, I Wanna Be Adored
Intro, The XX
Kate Nash, Kiss that Grrrl
Old Crow Medicine Show, Wagon Wheel
The Cars, Since You're Gone
Phantogram, When I'm Small
Neko Case, Middle Cyclone


P.S.
The brothers Followill will be missed from the limelight.

Courtesy via litmusound