Sunday, October 30, 2011

Hallows' Eve

29. Bam.

I promised myself I would never be a person who hated telling their age, or never rode amusement park rides. Who wanted birthday celebrations to cease and a magic eraser for the marks of aging. But it's harder than I'd thought. Being perpetually 25 would be nice as rental car companies and In Time suggest. And after spending almost my entire 29th birthday at the Pensacola fair, there are some things I realize I won't be able to fend off becoming.

Like getting motion sick from rides like The Stinger.

But as we near 30, the hus (who's five months younger, damn him) and I can still knock back mystery meat corn dogs, a tower of cheese fries, and two helpings of funnel cake - as well as take to several spinning rides set to pop music - without actually getting sick. But my mind did still wander mom-like to the germs in the fun houses and tempting waste of money that was the giant, 100-and-some-pound rat.

The hus and I can still hear the carny's gravelly, repetitive voice.
"The rat ... The giant rat ... Real and alive." (Heard about 36 times while we waited in line at the bumper cars.)
What was it?! A pig dressed to look like a rat? Was it stuffed? But he said it was alive. Arghhh!!! We mature only so much, I suppose. But against the backdrop of gothic teenagers holding hands and making out - and despite my 15-year-old look tendencies and gift to myself of pink and purple streaked hair - I still felt...29.

Courtesy of Gossip Lover
At midnight tonight, the final day of good ol' birthday month begins. So while I need to save some candy for the bite-sized trick-or-treaters tomorrow night, it'll be a final 24 hours of sugar and scary movies. I'm thinking leftover birthday cake, Sour Punch Straws, and some American Horror Story. There's just something literally positively  thrilling about thinking every mosquito, light flicker, or bump in the night, is something sinister.

Or maybe it's because I never wanted to be a person scared of scary movies.

WordGirl for Grown-ups

I don't know how many times I've proofed something that has as much capitalization in it as sharks off the coast of South Africa. Below are the rules. Pretty short. Fairly easy.
  1. The beginning of a sentence, or line item  =)
  2. A proper noun, or a word derived from a proper noun (e.g. English class)
  3. A person's title - but only when it precedes their name!!
  4. The points on a compass only when referring to a specific region (e.g. We're from the South.)
  5. With everything else, just be consistent, and you'll look grand.

Word of the day: Acquiesce. Verb. To accept something reluctantly but without protest. She acquiesced to receiving a 29th birthday gift from her parents.

Tumblr Treats


"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." - Henry Ellis

Monday, October 10, 2011

The Witch Days of Fall

via Tumblr
It's the most wonderful time of the year. Bewitching really. A rebirth. For some of us anyway. For you maybe, think of it as with the leaves falling away, so are the dog days of summer and any bad juju from the year so far.

The onset of autumn means my birthday month does a mashup with Halloween costumes and candy, and zero expectations for cooking meals or mailing holiday gifts or hanging out with anyone who doesn't embrace Oktoberfest, dressing up (or down), and nil responsibility. It's when fall TV comes back with so much gusto I can't take it all in. When the weather isn't all that bad no matter where you are.

To celebrate properly, let's commence with the 2nd Annual ALY (Always Laughably You-Said-It ... I don't know) Fall Entertainment Review, which includes some outliers in the movie category as usual.

I missed the pilot, since fall premier week for me is like trying to guide a seven-year-old through Disneyland in a logical way. (But anything you missed you can almost always catch online, or on iTunes, thanks to the networks being smart - like maybe you haven't discovered Happy Endings, or how stupid but addicting Revenge is.)

Wulp, Suburgatory follows former Manhattanites Tessa and her dad (surprisingly fine Jeremy Sisto) as they adjust to an extreme (of course) suburban lifestyle. But as long as every other 'extreme' punchline or situation is a funny one, I'm in. Plus, Tessa's embrace of today's smart girl is the new"it" girl adds points.

Her cute ginger-ness also helps.

New Girl
Dark hair, banged (there's really no better way to say that), blue-eyed beauty Zooey Deschanel very nearly pulls off today's second place "it" girl: the awkward/quirky/nerdy one. Most of the time, I believe she's the painful yet humorous nerd chick. But, and I'm not sure it's a bad thing, at least once each ep, she looks like a guy's dream wife...with an Emma Stone voice and Kristin Stewart commentary on life.

Unfortunately, points were taken away from New Girl when Daman Wayans, Jr. left after the pilot.

Up All Night
If you like Will Arnett (Amy Pohler's husband, aww), you should tune in and support. It may not make it otherwise, as neither did Running Wilde despite the DVR love I gave it. But the new show has made me crack up several times - and I'm not ever up all night with a little one. At the start of the last ep, I laughed almost as much as when Howard and Raj from The Big Bang Theory were virtually kissing each other with Howard's long-distance relationship invention.

It makes the cut again in 2011, but only as long as it skims the issue of faith and doesn't go too deep. That may sound bad, but faith is just too niche, and they'll alienate people from their fairly wide audience base. Come on, Dex writers, just keep killing people Batman-style and with the usual dose of depth afforded Bruce Wayne.

Courtesy of The Realm Toys
Fright Night
Though this horror flick was released toward summer's end, the 1985 remake found it's way into my heart as cult horror classics sometimes do. For me, Colin Farrell plays the best old school vamp yet. Anton Yelchin, Toni Collette, Imogen Poots (yep), Christopher Mintz-Plasse (even with his small role), and more, make a tight cast. And the cinematography, writing and effects combine to spit out a funny, jumpy blast.

Popcorn and a Coke recommended.

Straw Dogs
This 1971 remake also launched its way to the top of my fave scary movies list. There's nothing supernatural about it, just tension, the appropriate amount of blood and flesh and cursing, legit fighting, and a commentary on southern sociology. Personally, new director Rod Lurie made Sam Peckinpah's original a slam dunk instead of a script that was rape-focused for shock value while the rest droned on. From the opening shots to the lead villain's (ASkars') end, every string links back to the rope, leaving a neatly woven, tightly edited, undeserving-of-its-low-box-office-sales hit.

Food, Inc.
Courtesy of The Amateur Gourmet
This was a Netflix discovery in September. As with most food documentaries, it was an eye opener that made me think or say wow several times.

The air and light tight quarters of chickens; the bullied, crippled cows; and the fact that most of our food is just some form of corn is pretty weird and sad. I could never look at a chicken McNugget or slices of Oscar Meyer sandwich meat the same. I should learn what's grown locally and what each season brings by way of fruit and veggies.

To distract myself from our depressing food situation that everyone should know about, I watched this next movie.

Courtesy of MGD Film Reviews
La Femme Nikita
The original. French. 1990. Directed by Luc Besson (Taken). Not the American remake or two television series that followed. This was the real triple threat. Streetwise, provocative, emotional Nikita. When Nikita nervously but relentlessly completes her first job and escapes by plunging down a trash chute, falling head first into a trash bin, lacking grace and making me giggle, Anne Parillaud won me over more than any other Nikita I've seen.

Plus, I found out Tcheky Karyo (who plays Bob, yep, her mentor at the underground agency of assassins) has the longest IMDB list ever! Seriously, see how long it is! You'll recognize him from so many movies, it's crazy.

To celebrate the evolutionary year prior to *the citizen triple threat that is 30*, let's explore a self-realization of late, shall we...

Given that I spend much of my time indulging, er, researching, the entertainment industry - and even though I consider myself a confident enough person - I'm always amazed when people go (what seems like) out of their way to hang out with me, or us. Huh. Hm. I guess I don't always bore my running buddies to death. I guess we don't always send other couples running for the door and never looking back. Think about this. Who's always asking you to hang out? Who keeps asking you questions about your life? Even after they've maybe seen you trip, puke, or make a fool of yourself politically and/or religiously. No matter who you are, there are people who will like you and want to hang out with you.

For instance, I've heard all kinds of things about Steve Jobs (this Onion article is good). Tough to get along with. Bit of an ego. But besides him being rich and famous, I would still be interested in just talking to him, picking his brain, enjoying his genius. Even someone that rubs you the wrong way in one way, can be so right in another. I was more sad than I had realized I would be when I heard of his passing. Because this is what Steve gave me, someone he never knew or would probably care to know:

Courtesy of Mac Rumors
The first generation iPod - This was something on which my future husband and I listened to Jerry Seinfeld and Bob Marley over and over between classes and on weekends while overseas, twirling that physically spinning dial as we clicked through the vomit green screen. Marvelous. Inventive. On its way.

The all-powerful PowerBook - Again, the future husband (who also owned a white MacBook) and avid Mac follower made me that way by osmosis, (plus, my dad was happy to explore the Apple of his youth); thus the purchase of a silvery, trusty, 12" PowerBook for the rest of my higher education. It served me so well I could cry.

My very own iPod - This one showed me you really can go for a run without listening to your pathetic breathing, or tiring out your arm while carrying a Discman that skips. An invention still on its way.

The Shuffle - This itsy-bitsy breakthrough was pure bliss. I no longer had to sag my shorts some with the weight of an iPod, or wedge the latter into my sports bra and risk water contamination. Easy, discrete tunes. Purposeful, simple and lasting. Mac to the core. It has gotten me through hundreds of snail-paced (but nonetheless) miles.

The MacBook - As a family unit now, we own a MacBook. (And a Boot Camp running Mac Mini - which is great if you like small, pretty, multi-tasking stuff, as Mac users often do.) We remain thrilled consumers. These computers are reliable and mobile enough to see me through pages and pages. My own helicopter.

iPhones - The latest Mac purchases for our family are what users worldwide have found to be their necessary electronic. A phone, GPS, iPod, notepad, learner's and gamer's dream. A big resource in compact form. Legendary. Like Steve.

Steve Jobs
The last American who knew what the fuck he was doing -The Onion
Now go eat an apple and appreciate good electronics and good friends.

The other day, I hooked my precious iPhone up to my car stereo to enjoy some Foster the People and Band of Horses while I also enjoyed settling a chicken McNuggets craving. Oh. Umm... But it made the two shots I got feel better. One flu. One tetanus. One in each arm. Ridiculously sore. Ridiculous idea. Each chicken McNugget I lift, I feel it. But no one is around to hear me complain. Unlike now.

WordGirl for Grown-ups

Do not end a sentence in a preposition.


Where's the party at?


Where's the party at, bitch?

Just kidding, but you get the idea, (like I did from a greeting card).


Where are you at?


Where are you? (Don't be repetitive!)

Word of the day: Quixotic. Adjective. Exceedingly idealist. Use it. You'll start hearing it everywhere and realize how you've just been shutting out words you don't know.

Tumblr Treats

She had realized that it was foolish of her to ever have expected him to love her as she loved him, simply because he was incapable of loving anyone like she loved him. As a matter of fact, most people were incapable of loving someone like she could love, and by now she has lived enough to realize that. But it has only dawned on her today. (Original source)

"that kid's been workin hard."


*The citizen triple threat that is 30*

  1. No more excuses for not actually doing what you want to do in life
  2. No more feeling physically less than awesome - that body is uniquely yours and your greatest tool no matter what the hell you do, or don't do, with it
  3. No more feeling like you have to settle or grow up - you can stay Peter Pan forever as long as you remember to take a multivitamin and walks, feed your pets and/or children, and pay your bills; that's it